So, it's the closing of my first year in college, and I'm not too sure what to do with it. I'm excited to be going home--finally having a break from school and constant stress. It'll be fun to hang out with Mom and Dad again, see extended family, and see all my high school friends. But..at the same time, I'm sad to be leaving behind my new life here in Provo. I'm going to miss Jon and Kristen & kids, especially every Sunday, along with Shane and Cristy. It feels like I'm leaving Provo as a totally different person than the girl that came for her freshman year of college. I've been able to reach out of my comfort zone when it comes to almost every aspect of my life. I even willingly tried fish today (for those who really know me, you should be shocked by this development :P). I was finally able to make my own life for myself instead of depending on others to be happy. I'm afraid that going back to such a "structured" environment (or as Mom likes to constantly tell me, "household rules that as long as I live at home, I will abide to :P) with people expecting the old Amanda will make me backtrack in my personal progression.
In church lately, there have been a lot of lessons having to do with making personal goals and keeping the faith. Instead of only making goals once a year for New Year's, make monthly goals, or General Conference goals (every six months), or semester goals for others like me who are still attending school. I wanted to make goals for this upcoming summer to hinder the possibility of me going back to being shy and to stop me from having a bad summer:
1) Read scriptures and find a "doctrinal diamond" every day, along w/ prayers
2) Keep up-to-date on the Ensign
3) Even though the first three weeks will stink, be really outgoing in the singles ward so I can make new friends instead of being totally dependent on high school friends
4) Make effort to go to singles ward; whether high school friends are there or not
5) Have fun and be optimistic!
6) Strive to have a better relationship with Mom and be understanding towards her reasons for enforcing the "rules" :P
I know it seems like a lot to tackle for only a few months, but if I don't do one, then all the others won't come about either. Well, thanks for letting me go off on what's going on right now, if anyone has any advice, it'd be appreciated. Love you all!
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You go girl. We enjoyed you being here and will miss the fun Sunday meals together. Those goals are great and mom will see the new person as you acheive your goals. Call if you need anything -- I mean that!!! Stick to your guns with the "rules" and mom will let up a little -- I said only a little. You can't ask for miracles :). We love you -- Jon
ReplyDeleteHey girl!
ReplyDeleteIt's great to see that you have your own blog now! Timothy thought it was great that you had a pair of boots like he does:)
Take care and we'll see you soon.
Love,
Ashley
This is Kristin--
ReplyDeleteMan, I miss you. I guess before I always knew you were just down 500 N and even if i didn't see you but once or twice a week, I knew you were there!!! And when we drove past your apt. (the few times I had a car lately) the kids would all yell hi to Aunt Amanda. We haven't driven there since yesterday, but still . . .
The park was fun. So glad we did that.
You have changed this year--though I never thought of you as shy even before. You are a beautiful, talented, smart amazing woman and this summer will be great. You will be fine. Your goals are awesome--they will keep you focused on what you need to do. Good luck with the singles ward--I am so proud of you for doing that. Don't go falling in love with anyone--I want you back in the fall!! hee hee. Just kidding. The summer is going to go so fast--enjoy every moment you have.
You really have grown a lot this year. I can tell in your voice and in our conversations. I am so excited for your growth and for your desire to be "you". It is an adjustment to go back to the comfort zone of others taking care of you and to go where others have not seen your year of growth. Be understanding of their need to adjust to the new and improved you, but...stay you. Just talk your needs and desires out with the parents and let them learn to respect your growth and independence. You may also find that your friends have similar thoughts about their year of change as well. You are an amazingly awesome person and I can not wait to see you and give you one huge hug. Love you.
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