Holiday Humbug to Holiday Humbling

I think that I realized that I had sort of lost the excitement of holidays. Any holiday really. Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas....I have always been so into it all! I'd get so excited to make sure that they were the best days/seasons. But I lost that the past couple years. I had lost the excitement. Joy. Hope. Course, life hasn't really thrown me any easy-hitters the past couple years when it comes to holidays.

Freshman year: dumped, sick.

Sophomore year: really....really sick. Spent my birthday alone in my apartment with the flu.

Junior Year: on just my birthday I found out that my boyfriend had cheated on me, my best friend's father had died, and I again, was really sick.

Senior Year: my heart was shattered by the most amazing person, and the worst part is that I can't even make myself be mad at him for it 'cause I know he was following what he feels is right and I love him too much for that...

Anyway, focusing on the positive here....this Christmas break at home, even though it's just started, has already taught me that I have been so selfish.

Holidays are for family, love, compassion, thinking outside of yourself, being grateful for every blessing in this life, for friends, for service, for becoming better. My parents and I had Christmas early, before our trip out to South Dakota, and I feel so blessed to have the parents I have. They definitely spoiled me, which I feel horrible about because I wish I could've done as much for them. I feel bad that they gave me so much, but every little gift came from their hearts. My mom is so worried about making sure I can take care of my future home, she just keeps getting me things I can use for it. It's such a relief to know that I will have that taken care of. They truly know my needs and desires. And my sweet father....I didn't really know how to respond to his gift. I am blown away. He gave me two of his favorite cameras, one film and one digital. Don't get me wrong, the thought of being able to work on my photography skills is very exciting, but those cameras were such a huge part of him. I felt like I was robbing my father of that essential part of his life. I hope I can become, in even the smallest way, like my wonderful parents. They are so thoughtful and truly know how to implement Christ's teachings of selflessness and love.

So I guess I've had my own Ebenezer Scrooge experience, in some small way. Just because holidays have been bad in the past doesn't mean they have to affect my present. I just wish I could have that ghost of the future to tell me what to watch out for--heck just to know that my future is going to be alright...